When I told my girlfriend that I’d had a brilliant idea, she nodded sceptically, suggesting that maybe this wasn’t the first time I’d had such a notion. This one was different, I assured her: this one I would finish.
My idea was to write a book about all the brilliant ideas I’d had over the years, all the projects that I’d started and not finished, detailing how the idea had formed and how it had, inevitably, ended in failure. Such as the radio show I was going to make where I would ask people to come up with a soundtrack to their lives, but that I aborted when I realised that, when it came down to it, I was only really interested in my own life’s playlist. Or the self-initiated project to illustrate a cover to every new book I read that ended in disaster – or rather, extreme disappointment – after seeing the results of my first attempt. Or the award-winning sitcom idea towards which I wrote exactly nothing.
These ideas filled my head, keeping me awake at night with the possibility of creation, but were quashed throughout my days by apathy, procrastination and pure laziness. This book idea was a way of offloading the burden of my creative urges, a way of giving form to my whims and also of crowbarring a few stupid anecdotes and opinionated views in for good measure.
And here it is, the book I said couldn’t be written, mainly because I ‘didn’t have the time’ and ‘wasn’t really sure what the point of it was’. If you make such excuses, if you find yourself watching TV rather than writing your life story, if on December 31st you discover last year’s unfulfilled resolution list down the back of the sofa, if you’ve spent the last 20 years in a job that was only meant as a stop gap, then take solace in this book, for although it may not inspire you to get out there and live the life you’ve always wanted, at the very least you’ll know you’re not alone.
SOLD OUT! The first print run of 50 has sold out. Maybe I’ll get some more done in the future. I’ll see! Always keep ’em wanting more.